CSI: Basement

The scene developed months ago with the appearance of miniature rodent excrement in certain areas in our basement. The report was issued to me by my wife along with a protruding tongue, a gagging sound, and the display of full-body shivers. Having past experience with this type of perp I knew that bringing them to justice was no simple feat. I decided to let the situation develop and let the suspect get sloppy with its behavior so I could catch him more easily.

Over the course of the next several months I was reminded about our subterrestrial-dwelling tenant and the need to rub him out, each time followed by the aforementioned protruding tongue, gagging, and shivers.

Once I started finding his fecal evidence in other places, I decided it was time to take action and setup a sting operation... an ambush. During a recent visit to my local crime scene investigator's storage facility, Wal Mart, I gathered supplies to execute the operation and deliver justice to my foe. The supplies consisted of some food laced with a deadly poison that would eliminate the perp and any of his associates he's cooperating with as well as a trap mechanism which would give me the satisfaction of knowing that this criminal has met his doom.

But, alas! My adversary has circumvented my snare by triggering it and escaping, not without some injury to itself, I hope. Meanwhile, in another area of the crime scene, the furry bandits have fallen victim to the siren's song of the contaminated food. Little do they know that their spoils are spoiled and they will soon pass into oblivion.

In spite of the failure of the first ambush mechanism, I decided to try it once again but placed it in a different location. Given the reliability of this method I didn't think it was necessary to observe the operation as it was going down. I would let the proverbial dog return to his vomit and let my trap lure him in unnoticed.

I woke up the next morning ready for action and eager to dispose of my enemy. In typical CSI fashion I slowly moved through the dark basement with a single flashlight guiding my path. The next task was to investigate the crime scene and process the deceased perpetrator. Panic and confusion overtook me as neither the criminal nor the trap were present. I assumed he was entangled in my snare but did not perish. The criminal then crawled either to his death or his freedom with the trap in tow unable to free himself from it.

..: to be continued :..