Krispy Kreme = Krappy Koffee

"Krispy Kreme Doughnuts Inc. said Wednesday quarterly earnings rose nearly 50 percent as higher prices and improved coffee helped sweeten sales."

I think someone needs to inform the Klarks Summit Krispy Kreme. They obviously didn't get that memo. Improved koffee? I'd hate to taste what it was like BEFORE they improved it. It kan't be any worse than the Summit Family Restaurant down the street who strains their koffee through sweaty socks.

The koffee at Krispy Kreme has the konsistency of 10W40 and the strength of an industrial solvent that I'm not even allowed to purchase as a konsumer. Actually, KK, not to be konfused with the KKK (although I may be on to something) has three levels of their liquid torture. Each is determined by how long it takes to burn a hole through 1" thick steel. I'd actually like to go through the drive-thru and order "a month-long ulser with kream and sugar" and see what they give me.

Everybody knows it's bad but they go there anyway because of their donuts. So, they're stuck with the koffee because they're too lazy to go somewhere else. People normally don't shop for koffee and donuts like they shop for groceries. It's a one-stop deal for most people. Not me. When I'm in the market for a kup o' java and a donut (or a bagel), I make a kouple stops to make sure my early- to mid-morning feast is nothing less than delicious.

As for KK, no matter how much the Siren's song of the red "Hot" sign beckons me, I will not stop.