Another Awkward Situation
Our church has a Celebrate Recovery ministry which helps people with their "hurts, habits, and hang-ups." They deal with all kinds of addictions like over-eating, alcohol and drug use, and sexual addiction. I've heard nothing but good things about it and I'm glad people are getting the help they need with whatever burdens them.
I've been recruited on a few occasions to be a guest musician during their worship. I was really excited about it at first because I want to see this ministry succeed. A couple hours before I attended the first time I started to get really nervous and uncomfortable. I started to put myself in the shoes of those who regularly participate in CR and I figured if I were them, I wouldn't want outsiders to come in. I'd feel like I'm there to deal with some deep emotional and spiritual issues and I don't want people walking in and out, coming and going like a convenience store with me on display advertising that I've got serious issues in my life. I certainly wouldn't want to feel like that and I wouldn't want to put them in that position. After all, one of the secular equivalents to this program is Alcoholics Anonymous. I'm sure these people want as much anonymity as possible. I understand the church is very protective of what goes on at the church building during that time to ensure this.
I expressed my concern with the ministry leader who is the friend that recruited me. He said it was going to be fine and they were used to people coming and going. I was still nervous. Who was I going to see? Would I recognize anyone? How would I be received?
People started coming in. I recognized a lot of people although some were leaders and some were participants and I couldn't easily distinguish between them. Maybe many were both. It was difficult not to think, "Gee, I wonder what his problem is," but I tried not to. I tried to remember that they are seeking God's healing in their lives.
When it was time to get up to play and worship, I couldn't make eye contact with anyone. I couldn't even look at anyone because I didn't want them to think I was judging them because they were there. Just the opposite was true; I respected them for their courage to step forward and take control of their hurts, habits, and hang-ups. Still, I couldn't look at them.
I've gone back two other times: once for a picnic and tonight for another regular session. I don't feel nervous and uncomfortable like I did the first time. However, I did see a guy there who I'm pretty sure was his first time. He looked very uncomfortable. Admitting sin is a hard thing to do. Admitting sin to a group of people you hardly know is insane, but beautiful. We should see more of that in the local church, in a small group, or with our close friends.
I've been recruited on a few occasions to be a guest musician during their worship. I was really excited about it at first because I want to see this ministry succeed. A couple hours before I attended the first time I started to get really nervous and uncomfortable. I started to put myself in the shoes of those who regularly participate in CR and I figured if I were them, I wouldn't want outsiders to come in. I'd feel like I'm there to deal with some deep emotional and spiritual issues and I don't want people walking in and out, coming and going like a convenience store with me on display advertising that I've got serious issues in my life. I certainly wouldn't want to feel like that and I wouldn't want to put them in that position. After all, one of the secular equivalents to this program is Alcoholics Anonymous. I'm sure these people want as much anonymity as possible. I understand the church is very protective of what goes on at the church building during that time to ensure this.
I expressed my concern with the ministry leader who is the friend that recruited me. He said it was going to be fine and they were used to people coming and going. I was still nervous. Who was I going to see? Would I recognize anyone? How would I be received?
People started coming in. I recognized a lot of people although some were leaders and some were participants and I couldn't easily distinguish between them. Maybe many were both. It was difficult not to think, "Gee, I wonder what his problem is," but I tried not to. I tried to remember that they are seeking God's healing in their lives.
When it was time to get up to play and worship, I couldn't make eye contact with anyone. I couldn't even look at anyone because I didn't want them to think I was judging them because they were there. Just the opposite was true; I respected them for their courage to step forward and take control of their hurts, habits, and hang-ups. Still, I couldn't look at them.
I've gone back two other times: once for a picnic and tonight for another regular session. I don't feel nervous and uncomfortable like I did the first time. However, I did see a guy there who I'm pretty sure was his first time. He looked very uncomfortable. Admitting sin is a hard thing to do. Admitting sin to a group of people you hardly know is insane, but beautiful. We should see more of that in the local church, in a small group, or with our close friends.
posted by Matt Book at
10:37 PM
1 Comments:
Amen to that one! Our kickoff date for Celebrate Recovery is Friday September 9th. It is a much needed ministry in the church today. When I first entered ministry I was amazed that all of the people who I had always thought os as "normal" were actually suffering from some pretty serious stuff. Since then I've always viewed the church as a lake. Calm, and placid on the surface, but beneath the surface are undercurrents that will destroy you. We need to be operating under the surface. Nothing of any significance is happening on the surface.
By
Duane, at August 11, 2005 11:41 AM
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