Pre-Mid-Life Crisis Symptoms

Part of the reason, well probably the main reason, I created this blog is so that I could allow myself a little bit of self-expression and resurrect some of the emotions and personality that I used to have. While I've made a little progress in that area, I feel I haven't done much over the last couple months. I think generally, I've been more expressive towards people, more friendly, and more outgoing. That's always a positive thing since at one time I pretty much resolved myself to being alone with my thoughts and feelings, not opening up to other people, and being a jerk if I had to be so I could live a reclusive life. I'm glad I'm digging myself out of that funk. I'm not out of the woods because I still have some of those tendencies and I find myself suppressing my emotions and not wanting to talk to people. Back to work, I guess.

It's worked out pretty well so far. I've made more friends and I've strengthened the friendships that I have. I've interacted with people instead of sitting quietly. Actually, I feel better about myself and feel that I'm actually contributing to the betterment of society rather than not contributing at all... for good or for bad.

I often wonder if others go through this sort of shift in personality at some point in their life. There's the "mid-life crisis" everyone makes fun of but I don't really know what that's about. It seems like it has something to do with sowing your wild oats when you're about 40 years old and doing things as if you were a 20 year old or something like that. Guys usually change their hairstyle, get a fancy car, or start working out at the gym. Maybe that's just a way for men to deal with something they can't fully understand. They know something is wrong but don't know how to change it so they work on external things and don't realize that what needs changing is something on the inside. It probably all boils down to figuring out who you are as a person. Maybe these 40 year olds getting hair plugs and driving Porsches realize they aren't who they used to be and don't know what to do to fix it. Well, I know I'm not who I used to be but I know I'm on the right track to fix it and it isn't costing me any cheddar.