Still More Random Thoughts

• I don't pretend to know a lot about politics or wax eloquent about the Republican vs. Democratic issues. One thing I know is that I'm sure glad that John Kerry didn't win. (I'm not intending to spark a debate.)
  
• Our Divorce Care ministry at our church should meet at the coffee bar at our Glenburn campus and should rename itself "Grounds for Divorce."
• On a related note, I'm tired of the play-on-word names of coffee houses including the word GROUNDS.
• I'm also tired of using the word WORSHIP as an adjective when it comes to church liturgy and practice. e.g worship bulletins, worship comments, worship service, worship pencils.
• The music I was using in last week's service through me for a loop when we were singing And Can It Be? when the text read, "Died He for me, who caused His pain?". It's not a question, you idiot, it's an appositive.
• Don't feel like you can correct me on any grammatical errors I might make. Just because I know what an appositive is doesn't mean I have grammar nailed down 100%. I am fallible.
• I'm glad my wife is taking some time today to watch movies and play xbox. She deserves some down time.
• Burnout 3: Takedown is a kick-ass game.

TIVO has saved my life

You'd think that the demigods of the entertainment industry would do everything in their power to encourage me to spend more money and conditioning me with non-stop advertisements. I've recently read that hour-long television shows used to contain 44-46 minutes of programming and now that is reduced to 41-42 minutes because of the added commercials. This means that if I sit through 3 hours of television in a night (which is extremely rare) with no restroom or refreshment breaks, I receive almost 60 full minutes of propoganda about products and services that that pay the bills of the entertainment conglomerates. They want me to watch commercials. I can hardly escape them wherever I go. The same article I referenced informed me that a typical hour-long program is broken up into eight segments. That means commericals occur approximately every 4 minutes and last around 2 minutes. That's a lot of opportunities to poop and visit the fridge. Magazines, radio, and other forms of media are the same way. The entertainment moguls are pushing advertising because it pays the bills.

Enter TIVO.

TIVO is a service that allows you to customize your television watching experience. It's well worth the extra $5 per month. You can read about all the cool things it does but let me tell you how it's rocked my world.

• I watch less TV. Studies show that's a good thing. More TV: bad. Less TV: good. I no longer veg on the couch flipping through channels finding something to kill 30 minutes of time before Law and Order: Criminal Intent comes on. I choose the programs I want to see and enjoy them when I intentionally sit down to watch television.
  
• I watch what I want when I want. No more trying to watch King of Queens when the kids are all hopped on desserts from dinner. I don't have to rush home from worship team rehearsal to catch the next episode of Lost and have my wife fill me in on the details of the first 15 minutes.
• Commercials go bye-bye. Well, not entirely. I watch commericals at 4x the speed so I really don't see any of them. The downfall of this is that I rarely see movie previews and never hear about the new creation at Pizza Hut. I'll live. I already know that Lucky Charms is "magically delicious."
• No more conversations like this: "I thought I taped your scrapbooking show on this VHS tape. Oops, I must have accidentally taped over it with this liver transplant I wanted to watch." In fact, I don't think I've even touched a VHS tape in months. When DirecTV gets their act together, I'll be able to save programs on my computer and burn them to DVD.
  

If you don't have TIVO, look into it. It could change your life like it changed mine. My name is Matt and I watch TV.

Practical Communism

As I was going to and fro in my automobile during the lunch hour, I started pondering. If everybody worked 40 hours each week and all made the same amount of money, what job would I want to hold? Would I be content with a job that normally pays less or would I opt for a higher stress job if the money factor was taken out of the equation? I'm going to chew on this for a while. In the meantime, a quote from one of my favorite movies:

I don't want to buy anything, sell anything, or process anything. I don't want to buy anything sold, bought or processed; sell anything bought, sold, or processed; or process anything sold, bought, or processed as a career. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.

Artwork

Matt as defined by Google

I was instructed to Google (yes, we have officially made Google a verb) the words "Matt is" including the quotes. Following is a list of some interesting things I've found. Things make more sense to me now that I know my true self.

Matt is an award-winning writer and photographer.
Matt is the straight-edge, Catholic raver/virgin.
Matt is the one associating Republicans with extremists.
Matt is looking for a few good strategists.
Matt is gone.
Matt is also offering his services as a consultant.
Matt is also recording in a classic format with exciting new results.
Matt is sexier than Paul?
Matt is becoming frustrated.
Matt is a little edgy at first, but then the monster reassures him that he is a friendly monster.
Matt is young and energetic, and has a real passion for poker.
Matt is also one half of Schwervon.
Matt is buried alongside his canary in the cemetary.
Matt is loved by the residents of Portland.
Matt is getting back into it.
Matt is able to speak knowledgeably of his own progress because of his frequent appearances in the hospital's weekly limb deficiency clinic.
Matt is perhaps best known as a television meteorologist.
Matt is learning to become a skilled hunter from Attean.
Matt is really making his mark as a leader of bass recordings that may change the face of his instrument.
Matt is an exemplary young man in all facets.
Matt is miserable with his life of one night stands.
Matt is very adept at getting what he wants.
Matt is buying beer for everyone who attends his party in Pouce Coupe, BC.
Matt is a clone of El Patron, a powerful drug lord of the land of Opium.
Matt is obsessed with chairs.
Matt is spending far too much time quietly sharpening his machete.
Matt is treated as inhuman by most people.

Good ol' days

What happened to the good ol' days when if you wanted to have your water hose spray out across the lawn you had to put your thumb over the end?

I was yellow once

After seeing a news cast about donating blood, I visited the American Red Cross web site to see if I am still able to donate. I was ineligible for 12 months a couple years ago because of a tattoo but I was wondering if I'm eligible since I have Epstein-Barr Syndrome. Well, it turns out that I can no longer donate blood. Yes, the American Red Cross forbids me from giving even though my blood type is O-negative. Here's what their web site states:

If you had hepatitis (inflammation of the liver) caused by a virus, or unexplained jaundice (yellow discoloration of the skin), since age 11, you are not eligible to donate blood. This includes those who had hepatitis with Cytomegalovirus (CMV), or Epstein-Barr Virus (EBV), the virus that causes Mononucleosis.

I was yellow once. I had a mad case of jaundice on Memorial Day of last year. I was all kinds of yellow (or as they say in less industrialized areas of the country: yeller).

It's kind of depressing because, even though I haven't donated in several years, this was something I was thinking about doing again and always considered it a privilege. Now, I'm banned. My blood is no good to society.

Unfortunately, many local churches treat a wayward believer in the same fashion. One mistake and you're labeled. One indescretion or a time of rebellion and you're unqualified. One poor choice and you're a second-class Christian in the eyes of everyone, unfit to lead or serve, and there's nothing you can do about restoring your reputation and good-standing in the local church.

If only we could love the way God loves and forget like God forgets. God still loves me even if I was yellow once.