I survived another holiday

Even though holidays break up the monotony of 5 days on-2 days off, it disrupts the groove and familiarity of a week that I've come to enjoy. There are some holidays, however, that afford you the luxury of stopping everything else in your life in order to celebrate the occasion and spend time with friends and family. Halloween is not one of those days. In fact, it is one of those holidays you are required to celebrate on top of everything else you have going on. No day off, no long weekend, no setting aside responsibilities, nothing. Also, Halloween isn't just one day, it's October 31st plus the several weeks leading up to it when you have to put out the decorations, coordinate the perfect costumes, carve up a large, seasonal vegetable, and purchase thousands of calories of confections to give away to strangers. It's a boat load of extra work to celebrate something that has nothing to do with Jesus, love, or the good ol' USA.

There are some good points to Halloween that I can't deny. As a parent, something that brings joy to the heart of a child and puts a genuine smile on his face is something worth sacrificing for (unless it has something to do with Barney or the most current pop star or fashion trend). The expressions on the faces of my children every time they donned their costumes and watching them play the part of Zorro and Belle was as good as them giving me a birthday present. Along with that, I had as much fun as they did watching them approach each house with the anticipation of meeting someone, doing a dance, singing a song, yelling "Trick or Treat!", and swiping their candy. And I mean swiping literally. My 2 1/2 year old daughter used her charm, innocence, and quick reflexes to help herself to the buckets o' candy when the attention of the homeowner was on her brother. Her thievery was quickly forgiven because of her princess-like appearance and charismatic personality.

Lastly, one thing I've realized about being a parent is that holidays sometimes bring out the worst in people, especially children, because they expose what's in their heart. If they are grateful kids, they will demonstrate gratitude. If they are selfish, they will exemplify selfish behavior even more so than usual. Our kids have their selfish moments but as they asked for and received their treats, they were very grateful for what they were given. Except for my daughter's naive kleptomania, they didn't ask for anything more and didn't complain about what they were given. Thanks, Ryan and Makenna, for making me so proud of you!

Collaborative Writing Project: Late for Work Excuse

I don't consider myself a writer but I came across an idea that sparked my interest. It's a collaborative writing project that originated from a surrealist technique in which "a collection of words or images are collectively assembled." This technique is called Exquisite Corpse. You can see a large example of this here where they are working on entire collaborative novels on the Internet. While I don't want to invest a lot of time doing the backend programming for such a project, I thought it would be fun and interesting to do on a small scale on this blog. If you're jonesin' to participate on a larger scale, go back here. You can even request to start your own novel/short story on that site.

Here's the deal.

Big picture: We're going to construct a short, collaborative writing project about a topic I describe below.

Instructions: We will start with two sentences, a first and last, which I'll provide. The next commenter will provide a sentence that fits between the two. Then I will post two sentences based on a preset random order in which case the next commenter will supply another sentence that fits in between. This will continue until the project is complete when I will compile the sentences and post the result.

At the beginning, don't worry about tieing the sentences together but try to do so once we get about halfway through (I'll let you know). Please, be creative and keep it relatively clean.

Topic: You're e-mailing your boss to give an excuse why you were late for work.
Length: 20 sentences

First sentence: Mr. Schmedlep, how awkward this must feel to the both of us.
Middle sentence: [ supplied by first commenter ]
Last sentence: I trust you can understand my predicament and won't hold this against me in light of my yearly review.

Bookie Recommends...

I spend several hours of my day tethered to the Internet. Out of necessity and enjoyment, I've come across several applications and services that have made the shackles a little more comfortable. Feel free to post your experiences with these as well as some of your fav's not listed here.

Trillian
If you use instant messengers to keep in touch with family, friends, and cellmates, this program is a must. There is a limited free version as well as a full-featured Pro version well-worth the $25 fee. I like the interoperability, message history, and the various plug-ins available (RSS reader, weather display). Here's what their web site has to say:

Trillian™ is a fully featured, stand-alone, skinnable chat client that supports AIM, ICQ, MSN, Yahoo Messenger, and IRC. It provides capabilities not possible with original network clients, while supporting standard features such as audio chat, file transfers, group chats, chat rooms, buddy icons, multiple simultaneous connections to the same network, server-side contact importing, typing notification, direct connection (AIM), proxy support, encrypted messaging (AIM/ICQ), SMS support, and privacy settings.

Without stealing your home page and with no other included software, pop-ups, or spyware, Trillian provides unique functionality such as contact message history, a powerful skinning language, tabbed messaging, global status changes (set all networks away at once), Instant Lookup (automatic Wikipedia integration), contact alerts, an advanced automation system to trigger events based on anything happening in the client, docking, hundreds of emoticons, emotisounds, shell extensions for file transfers, and systray notifications.

Firefox
I mean, really, who's using IE anymore? The 2000's are all about alternative everythings and the web browser is no exception. If you're giddy about tricking out your browser with some tabs, extensions, and additional safety features, check out this sweet ride. I especially like the tabbed browsing and the built-in pop-up blocker.

iTunes
I've used MusicMatch, Windows Media Player, something from Real Networks, and several versions of WinAmp but was never satisfied with my music player until iTunes came along. I switch to iTunes about as fast as some of the NEPA locals switched to bottled water after they found out their wells were contaminated. Give it a try because it's cool and because it has nothing to do with Bill Gates. The features I like are the browse window, the search feature, crossfade playback, and podcasting.

Gmail
I don't know about you but if you're like me, you're 5'10", your name's Matt, and you're tired of people changing their e-mail addresses. Just the other day, I talked to a friend I had e-mailed and he told me he didn't get my e-mail because he doesn't check that account anymore. E-mail addresses should be like tattoos... permanent. I've been a long-time advocate for having an e-mail address you don't have to surrender if you switch Internet service providers. Getcherself a free 2.5+ GB e-mail account through Gmail and stop needlessly destroying your friendships. I enjoy Gmail's spam blocker, labels (vs. folders), archive/search feature, the conversation view, and the ability to handle larger attachments.

Here are a couple other free programs you might be interested in:
Audacity - a free, easy-to-use audio editor and recorder.
GIMP - a freely distributed program for such tasks as photo retouching, image composition and image authoring.

We don't need no education

I've spent quite a bit of time over the last few years considering the education system. I wrote about this the summer before my son entered kindergarten.

Recently, my thoughts have steered toward the debate between homeschool, Christian school, and public school which is a rather significant discussion in Christendom. I use the word debate deliberately because this issue can fire some people up as they have established strong, personal convictions.

My wife an I decided to send our children to public school for many reasons. Both of us grew up in public school and, for the most part, we turned out ok. Also, we feel that kids have access to more resources and luxuries in public schools than other in schooling options. Additionally, we pay taxes which funds the local education system so it makes sense to take advantage of a quality education for which we're already paying. These are just a couple examples of why we have chosen public school for our children.

With that said, had we lived in a different school district, we may think differently about where to send our kids to school. When our son entered kindergarten, we didn't have a second thought about sending him to public school because of the school district we live in. Apart from the frequent strikes, it's a decent district with adequate teachers and good programs.

I've been thinking about this a little more because my wife and I have kicked around the idea of moving to a different area (locally or nationally). In our discussion, one of the main points of consideration for where we would live is the quality and reputation of the public education system. We began saying things like, "Well, if we lived there we'd want to send them to Christian school." Why? Why would we change our minds after deciding to send our kids to public school for the reasons I listed above and more?

Fear. I realized that my decision where to send my kids to school was a based on fear. Fear of exposure to things we didn't want our children to be aware of. Fear of exposure to kids with vastly different ideals. Fear of exposure to violence, sex, language, humanism, hatred, and greed more than what they would experience in their middle class, SUV-driving, white collar, low-crime neighborhood. Suddenly, the public/christian/home school debate made much more sense to me.

I suspect that, like me, many people make schooling decisions based on quality of the district and/or some measure of fear. I've heard parents say, "We send our kids to Christian school to protect them...," and "We home school our kids because we want to have control over the things they learn and are exposed to." In many cases, I believe the parents' decision about schooling is governed by what they fear and how much they fear it. The more fear they have the more guarded they will be about their children's education. Where does the fear come from? Is it because of not trusting in God? Do we fear because we don't pray enough for the spiritual well-being of our children and have been deficient in our duties as Christian parents? Do we fear that our children will be exposed to the same evils we experienced in our youth? Should we forsake the mission field of the public school system for the comforts of Christian/home school?

I think I'll leave the discussion there for now. However, I do realize there are circumstances where it is best for parents to home school their children or send them to Christian school. For example, I have a friend who is a teacher at a Christian school. I'm sure his daughter gets a reduced, if not free, tuition because of his employment status. I have another friend whose son had some special needs at one time in his life and it was better for him to learn at home. He is now back in public school. I believe each method of schooling has its place but we shouldn't be so quick to shelter our kids from the world and not send them to public school out of fear. Above all, we need to step back and look at the way we're raising our children. Are we raising them to protect them or to equip them?

Isolation

One of the problems with isolation is that, after a while, people stop looking for you.

Bookie's Most Outrageous Moments #5

This is a continuation of a series of posts I started in the Spring of 2004 entitled The Most Outrageous Bookie Moments.

• #1 - Van Halen from the Bell Tower
  
• #2 - The Lawn
• #3 - Breaking My Arms
• #4 - Hit on by College Girls

As I entered high school, my brother entered college. Since the school he chose was 500 miles away, my parents arranged for me to stay at a friend's house so they could settle him in and bid him a proper farewell as he begins a new stage in his life.

Meanwhile, my friend's parents allowed us to sleep in a tent in his backyard which was less than a mile from my house. Being the fearless and horny fifteen-year-olds that we were, we had made arrangements to pick up my girlfriend and her two friends. They were a year or two younger than we were. In order to pull this off we had to sneak out of his yard (not that difficult), trek a little less than a mile to my house, and drive my parents' car roughly fifteen miles one way to pick up the girls to bring them back to my house. It was quite the adventure. The mix of fear, adrenaline, and salacious anticipation triggered a boost in testosterone that instantly thickened the patches of hair in my underarms.

Even though I was several months away from being eligible to take a driver's ed course, I was a skilled driver and successfully managed to make a thirty mile trip to pick up some honeys. When we got back into town, for some reason we stopped at a parking lot about a block from my house and turned the headlights of so as to not draw attention to five early-teenagers driving illegally at one o'clock in the morning. We decided to circle the block and drive past my house to make sure nothing unusual was afoot. As I turned the corner past my house, red and blue flashing lights appeared in my rearview mirror and strobed onto the houses and trees around me like a discotheque. I had forgotten to turn my headlights back on which had attracted the attention of the local fuzz.

Immediately, the worst-case scenario was playing out in my mind which involved not being able to get my driver's license until I was eighteen years old which, in all probability, would be about two months after I would be able to walk again after my dad got his hands on me. My highschool years would mirror my junior high years with me riding my bicycle to school and my parents driving me to the mall to hang out with my friends. In my panic, I began to offer up prayers of forgiveness and mercy.

Fortunately, the police officer who had pulled me over was a good friend of my dad and my uncles and was sympathetic to the plight of the horny, reckless teenager. His words to me were, "I know the punishment your dad will deliver will be worse than what we would do so I'm just going to let him take care of it." Since my parents were out of town, he called my uncle and woke him up out of bed to return me and my posse to our respective homes.

When he showed up he was surprising not upset at my tomfoolery and having to get out of bed to bail me out. As he drove us home, my uncle, who could identify with my predicament, informed me that he was going to let me off the hook. Needless to say, we could now add excitement and relief to the roster of emotions we've experienced over the last few hours.

A day or two later, my friend's parents took us to Cedar Point, the roller coaster capital of the world, where we rode roller coasters, flirted with girls, and basked in our escape. It was a day of merriment and glee. We may have even skipped and clicked our heals a few times.

The scene and mood quickly changed when I was dropped off at home. It was as if a dark thundercloud had suddenly appeared and blocked out the sun. My parents had returned from their trip and greeted me with scouls on their faces and sharp words on their lips. My dad's eyes turned red and smoke rose from his ears. The party was over and I was going to be served a hefty helping of my dad's wrath. The policeman who had pulled me over had some business to do in my dad's car parts store earlier that day. He struck up a conversation with my dad and asked, "You weren't too hard on your boy, were you?" Since my uncle was going to keep quiet about the situation, my dad was completely in the dark about his question. He got the whole story while I was enjoying the day at America's Roller Coast. My punishment was pretty light compared to what it could have been. I was grounded for a month but probably the worst part has been my parents not letting me forget that incident for the past sixteen years.

Hollywood running out of ideas

Stallone squares up for Rocky VI

I can't believe this is really happening. I knew Hollywood was running out of ideas but this takes the cake. Even though the movie hasn't been made yet, I'm going to have to give this two thumbs down. C'mon, the rival's name is Mason "The Line" Dixon. How's that for gimmicky!? What's next, Rocky vs. Predator? How about Rocky vs. the cast of Good Times? Maybe Rocky's dead manager, Mickey, after having been killed by the treacherous Clubber Lang, became so enraged in the afterlife that he developed a deep hatred for the sport of boxing and the great Rocky Balboa himself and possessed the body of Rocky's son in order to challenge him in the ring. Rocky VII will feature a 70-year-old Sly fighting his own son who is possessed by the spirit of his dead manager. Remember, you heard it here first.

Commercial encourages poor driving

If you've watched any television lately, you've probably seen a Passat commercial where two guys are tossing the football back and forth. Whitey goes long and plows right into a new VW Passat. Voiceover guy says:

"Impact absorbing hood for pedestrian safety."

Does anyone else find this disturbing? Either it makes pedestrians safer or gives Passat drivers permission to drive like maniacs. Probably both.

I can't read!

Well, I can read. In fact, my parents will testify that I started reading at the age of two. I fell in love with books at an early age and took it on as a hobby until I entered Junior High. At that point, probably distracted by puberty, I wouldn't pick up a book unless it was absolutely necessary. I distinctly remember barely squeeking through 7th grade reading class with a D after giving an oral book report of a book that I had made up.

This change of heart continued until I went to college. College is not a very fun place to be if you can't read well or if you don't like to read unless you're a phys-ed or art major. If you've known me for any length of time, you'd understand that sports usually means a trip to the emergency room resulting in some sort of splint or cast and that I'm about as artistic as I am amphibian.

Within days of beginning college, my book collection doubled with one trip to the campus bookstore to purchase my required textbooks. I had begun reading again and I grew to enjoy it. I was most interested in theology, reference books, commentaries, and books on Christian living although I avoided "feel-good" books by Max Lucado and similar authors.

Since college my interest in books has diminished significantly. I enjoy reading but rarely make/find the time to do so. Most of my books have been resting safely in boxes in my basement for the past four years. You might catch me reading a short book from time to time but I'm not one to talk about books or maintain an ever-so-popular reading list.

Lately, I've gotten turned off to the culture of reading. Some of you will probably get a little angry at me and desire to inflict pain on my body because it sounds like I'm lashing out against something that's fundamentally good like oxygen, Christmas, and apple pie.

It all started a few years ago when a friend raved about a popular Christian men's book. "You haven't read it?! Oh, you must read this book! This is a book that you really need to read!" Within a month or so, I had similar conversations with almost a half-a-dozen people. Not wanting to jump on this bandwagon, I resisted the mild urge to read the book and shrugged it off. Since then, I've noticed several authors and books that have elicited a similar response. I didn't like all the commotion and reverence and I especially didn't like the different camps and cliques that came about as a result. It almost felt like high school all over again when if you wore Bugle Boy jeans you were with this crowd and if you listened to the Dead Kennedy's you were labeled with this crowd. I've observed that who and what you are reading has become an identity. You would be accepted more by a group people if a certain book was on your reading list or you named a certain author as one of your favorites.

Before you decide to spray paint my car or corner me in a dark alley wielding a pipe, realize that this is a natural thing that happens. People welcome those who are similar and have similar interests and sometimes exclude those who aren't and don't. It's a fact of life.

I quickly got tired of hearing about it and I decided that in order to sidestep the awkward social ritual of acceptance-gaining and clique-assimilation I would avoid the issue altogether by either not picking up a book or not publicizing the books and authors I'm reading. I do enjoy reading and sharpening my mind and spirit through reading but I'm not at all interested in flaunting my current read like a new piece of clothing and discussing my reading list as I would the accomplishments of my children.

Many searches. One destination.

Following is a list of words and phrases people have used in search engines and found their way to this site. I didn't know this blog was such an authority on the following subjects.

• tommy boy, ray zalinski
• ray zalinski
• temperature of earth's core
• being a bookie
• what do you need to become a bookie
• college bookie
• what does a bookie do?
• scared of bookie
• Bookie's wife
• play on word names
• small group ministry
• "Law & Order" "Criminal Intent"
• schwervon blog
• recovering from mono
• free download of "do you fries with that"
• 80's hair styles/clothing
• Top 25 billboard august 2005
• "what you do in moderation your children will do in excess"
• self incriminating humor
• Explain Ben Franklin's thirteen virtues
• list of virtues
• divorce "second class christian"
• "only one life that soon will pass"
• "living in the twilight zone" song 80's
• eye of a tiger
• eye off the tiger
  
• want to house kyper work
• "Sharon Stone" +ancestors +German
  

Tips for not pissing me off at work

Updated 10/26/2005

Don't leave me a voice mail AND send me an e-mail telling/asking me the same thing. Do one or the other.

When you send me an e-mail, do not Cc anybody and everybody who may or may not be remotely interested in what you have to say.

If you send me an e-mail, do not call me or stop me at lunch asking me if I've received your e-mail. I did. That's how the system works.

If I offended you by something I said in an e-mail, you probably took it the wrong way so talk to me about it before complaining to other people.

Don't ask me to leave a message for someone. I'm nobody's secretary. Write the note yourself or leave a voicemail.

Also, don't call my extension asking if one of my co-workers is in the office. Again, I'm nobody's secretary. Either leave them a message, send an e-mail, or walk down here and look for yourself.

Do not tell me to call you later. If what you want to talk about is so important, you can call me. It's not that hard.

Remember that you and your department are not the most important thing here. Get in line.

Do not ask questions like, "Are you busy?" or "Are you doing anything right now?". Yes and it's probably none of your business.

Do not approach me during my lunch hour to discuss work. That is my time. I may resort to chewing with my mouth open or coughing on you.

When sending me an e-mail, type a meaningful subject instead of something ambiguous like "Website" or "Question." Pretty much all the e-mails I receive are about a question on the website. Think creatively; it will probably do you a lot of good. Added 10/26/2005

Note: While this accurately represents some of my pet peeves, it's not meant to be taken too seriously.

Blast from the Past: Movies from 1985

That's right, folks. Here's a partial list of movies from 20 years ago: when sequels were still a fresh idea and guys like Chevy, Sly, Michael, and Steve ruled the big screen. Most of these you can find on cable channels several times a week. What memories do these movies bring to your mind?

• Witness (Harrison Ford, Kelly McGillis)
  
• The Breakfast Club (Molly, Judd, Ally, Anthony, Emilio)
  
• Mask (Cher)
  
• Desperately Seeking Susan (Madonna, Rosanna Arquette)
  
• Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (Steve Guttenberg)
  
• Brewster's Millions (Richard Pryor)
  
• Rambo: First Blood Part 2 (Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna)
  
• Fletch (Chevy Chase)
  
• The Goonies (Bunch of Punks)
  
• Cocoon (Steve Guttenberg)
  
• Back to the Future (Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson)
  
• Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome (Mel Gibson, Tina Turner)
  
• National Lampoon's European Vacation (Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo)
  
• Pee Wee's Big Adventure (Paul Reubens)
  
• Better Off Dead (John Cusack)
  
• Teen Wolf (Michael J. Fox)
  
• A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 (Rubert Englund)
  
• Rocky IV (Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren)
  
• Spies Like Us (Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd)
  
• The Jewel of the Nile (Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, Danny De Vito)

Big Mistake?

I just ate a plate-full of homemade jalepeno poppers as a late dinner. I chased it with a glass of 50/50, a glass of milk, and a glass of water. I really hope this doesn't come back to haunt me.