It hasn't been a good day

• My kids woke up way too early.
  
• I had a doctor's appointment and the Dr. jammed his finger so far up my ass my throat tickles.
• I learned I'm being moved to a different department.
• It's been an extremely hot summer and we're not going to the Harford Fair tonight because it's too cold.
• I got stumped by a cartoon and had to ask a friend to explain it to me.
  

Billboard Top 25 - August 25, 1990

Here's a little blast from the past... the Top 25 Billboard Chart from August 25, 1990. What were you doing when these songs were on the radio?

1. Vision of Love, Mariah Carey
   I have visions of her career plummeting.
   
2. Come Back To Me, Janet Jackson
   Oh, this is too easy.
   
3. If Wishes Came True, Sweet Sensation
   
4. Unskinny Bop, Poison
   Mmm Bop.
   
5. Blaze of Glory (From "Young Guns II"), Jon Bon Jovi
6. Release Me, Wilson Phillips
   Must...resist...
   
7. Do Me!, Bell Biv Devoe
   Willem Dafoe? That dude is poison.
   
8. Have You Seen Her, M.C. Hammer
   Has anyone seen M.C. Hammer?
   
9. Jerk Out, The Time
10. Epic, Faith No More
    Exploding piano!!
11. Could This Be Love, Seduction
12. The Power, Snap
    Who's got the power? I do.
    
13. Tonight, New Kids On The Block
    Tonight my parents let me stay up past 9:30 so I could write this song.
    
14. Cradle of Love, Billy Idol
    Not his finest work. Ride the pony. C'mon. More, more, more. It's a nice day to... START AGAIN!!
15. Love and Affection, Nelson
    Dudes look like two ladies!
    
16. Make You Sweat, Keith Sweat
    Long 'E' or short 'E'?
    
17. King of Wishful Thinking, Go West
    I tell myself I'm over this song.
    
18. Thieves in the Temple, The Artist
    Was this Prince? Maybe it was The Artist formerly known as Prince Cougar Mellencamp.
    
19. Tic-Tac-Toe, Kyper
    This is how you say Bell Biv Devoe in Farsi.
    
20. Banned In The U.S.A., Luke Featuring The 2 Live Crew
    I've never heard of Paul and Barnabas referred to as The 2 Live Crew.
    
21. Love and Emotion, Stevie B
    I hear he's pushing a more mature persona and going by the name Stephen B.
    
22. Across the River, Bruce Hornsby
    What happened to The Range? He should change his name to Horny B.
    
23. The Other Side, Aerosmith
24. Rub You the Right Way, Johnny Gill
    Because if you rub the wrong way she'll bite you or you'll get a splinter.
    
25. Close To You, Maxi Priest
    The maxi-priest is the larger-size, 15 passenger priest.
    

Why can't we all be normal?

I grew up having a fairly normal life. That is, I had a rather normal, nuclear family. Although it was blended with half-siblings, we felt and operated like a family. I was the youngest of five with a nineteen year span between me and the oldest so I didn't know any different. There may have been rough times in prior years but it felt normal to me and I always thought this is what a family was supposed to feel like. My parents loved each other and were still together (still are, praise the Lord!) and they had regular jobs. Neither of them were in and out of prison nor had any trouble with the law. Our family always had a decent meal to eat and adequate clothing and shelter.

Ever since I was a little kid, I noticed the kids who didn't have a normal family like me. Some of them, many of them actually, were my best friends. They never talked about their situation or lamented the fact that they live with their mom and visit their dad on weekends. It never seemed to bother Chris that when his mom remarried he and his brother changed their last names from Rice to Chamberlain. Karen didn't complain that she and her sister lived in two different foster homes while her dad was in jail. Aaron didn't get upset at his family situation when we couldn't hang out on the weekend because he had to go visit his dad. Jen merely rolled her eyes at the fact that her parents seemingly hated each other. I didn't treat them any different but I wondered what they thought about their families and growing up without a traditional, nuclear family unit. I wondered what they thought about their dad being an alcoholic, having bedrooms in two different houses, or not having the privilege of sharing a meal or a trip to the store with both parents at the same time.

What stirs both anger and compassion in me is the fact that kids enslaved in these realities had neither the option of choosing the structure of their existence nor the power to improve it. They are pawns in the system of unfairness and innocent victims of the sins of society.

I look at my seven-year old and get tears in my eyes at the thought of him having to struggle with the hardships that other kids face. I couldn't imagine him having to live out his youth being shipped off to dad's house every other weekend or live in a blended family where his half-siblings are favored and he has to sleep in the basement and wear ratty, second-hand clothes. I couldn't imagine my two-year-old daughter growing up in an orphanage not knowing what it's like to enjoy a mother brushing her hair or hold daddy's hand as they walk down the street. I wish every child could feel and experience the love of a family and I hope God will grant me many years to walk through life with my children with my wonderful wife by my side.

7 PM Approaches

A caravan of SUVs and mini-vans are descending upon the Book household as the Bookie finds himself increasingly and uncomfortably surrounded by a gaggle of estrogen mesmerized by the lure of PartyLite. Scott, be my redemption!

Spamgelism

I dislike spam. I wouldn't say that I hate spam because spam is such an insignificant thing to devote such a strong emotion. I won't give the spammers the satisfaction of hating the 2K piece of solicitation that made its way into my junk mail folder (thanks to my spam filters).

Let's think about this issue a little differently for a moment. Consider for a moment that many of the emails classified as spam contain true and viable information. Glancing through my box o' spam, I see emails on subjects such as meeting online singles, winning free stuff, improving my sex life, hair loss remedies, low mortgage rates, and the list goes on.

What if it were all true? In fact, I have no doubt there are companies out there which offer lower mortgage rates, help you find your match, and offer products that increase hair growth. If you elimiate the possibility that these senders of unsolicited email are trying to infect you with a virus or a piece of spyware and if the email takes you to a legitimate web site, what are you left with? You're left with a legitimate piece of advertising. Unwanted? Yes, but still legit.

What we have here, folks, is the electronic equivalent to door-to-door evangelism. How does door-to-door evangelism work? You show up at someone's house unwelcomed and uninvited and, if they answer the door, pitch your product of redemption to them... if you get that far. Most likely, you're cursed at, have the door slammed in your face, and you are impolitely instructed where to reposition the piece of free literature in the unilluminated parts of your body.

Is your product true and viable? Absolutely. But people don't buy it or even consider it when it's forced upon them in that way. Maybe we need to do a little evaluation on how we sell our stuff instead of spamming people with the message of J3Su$ CHR1$T.

Note: Please don't turn off your spam filters and start buying into everything that comes into your inbox. If you do and receive a free iPod, it's mine... I called it.

DJ Jazzy Jesus and the Holy Spirit

I turned on the Christian radio station yesterday morning as I was speeding from one church building to another (I figured I was justified that way) and the station wasn't coming in very clear. I must have been in a weird spot because it sounded like I was picking up two different stations. I could hear Lord, I Lift Your Name On High along with what sounded like a secular pop song. It was all very confusing because I couldn't zero in on one particular station.

At the risk of sounding hokey, I realized that this is what our spiritual crainium filter probably hears as we're feeding it an unbalanced diet (television, Internet, music, literature, etc.) through our pupil cases and audio holes.

We try to mix the funky tunes of the world's radio station with the smooth sounds of the Spirit and our spiritual groove gets out of whack.

Don't ruin it for me

I'm sitting on the couch watching Napoleon Dynamite for probably the half-a-dozenth time (I have one eye on the computer and one eye on the TV). I'm glad this movie achieved so much success and notoriety but I'm getting tired of all the grassroots publicity it's getting.

My friend, Scott, introduced this movie to me many months before this movie came out on the big screen. In fact, we were watching the trailer and quoting lines before it even had a release date. A few months later, others started talking about it and began quoting the same lines I was familiar with for, like, flippin' four months... GOSH! Sorry, about that. I got carried away.

That's the thing, though. I'm hearing it day in and day out. I don't mind hearing the quotes and rehearsing the scenes if Napoleon fanboys would quote them accurately. Hearing a misquoted line from a movie is as annoying as watching someone chew their food with their mouth open. This society is densely populated with fanboys who flub-up Pedro, Kip, and Napoleon sayings and my guess is many of those people aren't really fans of the movie (possibly never even seen it) as much as they are fans of fitting in. Either get it right, people, or just don't even try.

Progeny, 'Puters, and Pervs

My son is 7 1/2 and pretty innocent as far as I can tell. He's a lot more innocent than I was at that age but I had older siblings who were well versed in colorful language and skillful in the ways of wrongdoing. For example, I have several boxes of children's books I saved from when I was a kid. Ryan and Steph were reading one together the other night and my wife stumbled with a word. Then she started to smirk. She showed me the evidence of my rebellious childhood: I had changed a letter in the word "shut" and tried to cross out the entire word with a black marker. I have other examples but I'll save the rest of my dignity.

I became very scared, angry, and nervous last summer when I heard of a couple boys that had just moved into the neighborhood were attempting to share their booby magazines with some of the other local children. We warned Ryan as best we could to stay away from anything or anyone strange and to come home immediately if he felt uncomfortable about something. Those situations we can manage for the most part because he's smart enough to keep himself from danger and we can observe who's in the neighborhood and what's going on.

My big concern is when he's at the computer. He doesn't spend a lot of time on there but when he does he's usually on the Internet visiting sites like nickjr.com, noggin.com, or playhousedisney.com. We've setup favorites for him so he doesn't have to type it all out and make a mistake. So far, we've had no problems with him on the computer.

However, I work in the web industry and I know how things work. You innocently click on this flashy thing and then that thing over there and eventually, BOOM!, you're glaring at an advertisement with a pair of double D's staring back at you. Clicking on those... I mean it, the advertisement, would take you to an e-world filled with enough visual stimulation to make you want to cancel your cable television.

That's what I'm afraid of. He'll be lured by the siren's song of a neat picture or a cool link and then he's off in Skinland with his innocence exposed to a whole new world of debauchery and hedonism.

This has prompted me to think about how we, as parents, are going to protect our children from the scum of the Internet. Here are some ideas I have:

• Keep the computer in a central location and easily visible. He doesn't need his own computer in his own room.
  
• Setup bookmarks he can click on in the Link Bar so he doesn't have to type in the address
• Spend time with him showing him what to click on but also let him do a little exploring on his own when he feels comfortable.
• Establish his own account on the computer (which he has) and work with the security settings that will block sites that contain inappropriate content.
• Use a browser like Firefox that blocks pop-up windows. I'm pretty sure you can also block images or advertisements from different sites.
• If he gets into IM-ing, use a program like Trillian that logs IM conversations. Establish up front that you'll be reading those from time to time. Ryan is seven so I don't think I'll have to worry about IM-ing just yet. I plan on setting him up with an account so he can practice messaging me during the day. Same with email.
• As he gets older and does more with the web, explain some of the dangers of using the Internet and the importance of not sharing personal information with anyone.
• Make sure if he's filling out information online or subscribing to a site or service that his information will be kept secure and not sold or given to other companies or individuals. Check/uncheck the boxes not to receive any additonal emails. Keep him off the spam lists as much as possible.
  
• Look at some parenting web sites that go into a lot more detail about helping your kids safely get online.

If you have any other good ideas, feel free to comment and post them here.

Prayers by the Pen

I've taken part in a short discussion lately on the practice of writing prayers to be read publicly. Growing up, I got the idea that writing prayers was something the heathen churches did and that writing out your prayers to read in public wasn't sincere. You should pray extemporaneously "from the heart."

In response to that argument, let me ask a couple questions. What is different about someone calling you up on the phone or writing you a letter? Is one method of communication sincere and the other impersonal?

Profiling

First of all, let me say that I consider myself to be a fair person when it comes to race and I wouldn't classify myself as a bigot or racist by any stretch of the imagination. I've always tried to show respect and love to any skin color or racial background. I wrote a little about this on my original blog but I haven't transferred it over to this one yet. The reason I bring that up again is because of what I'm about to say about racial profiling.

I don't think it's such a bad thing. While racial profiling might go against everything the ACLU stands for, it coincides quite nicely with common sense. Let me give you a down-home example of profiling from my own life. If I come home from work and my wife is working on the laundry downstairs, my son is playing on the porch, and my daughter is playing with her dolls in her room and I find a bunch of crayon markings on the wall, who do I think would have done it? Based on past experiences with each member of my family I'm fairly certain my two-year-old made the markings on the wall with a crayon.

When I was a youth pastor in Michigan, one evening after a significant snowfall, I descended from my mobile home to find my car was excessively covered in snow. My mind considered the usual suspects...

• the Good Lord saw fit to relocate the snow from my driveway to my car
  
• my 75 year-old neighbor, who was in Florida, flew back for this occasion
  
• the pastor whom I was working with must have been retaliating for something I said or grief I caused him
• a couple of teens from the youth group were playing a prank on me

Actually, the first three didn't even run through my mind because I knew it was a few familiar adolescent pranksters.

Was it unfair of me to jump to those conclusions with my daughter and those teens? Should I have interrogated anyone who could have done it, such as my wife and my pastor? It would have been disrespectful if I questioned them, "Pastor, did you cover my car with snow?" or "Steph, did you write on the wall with a crayon?". Past experience taught me maybe not who to accuse but at least who to question.

Let's consider racial profiling. On a practical, everyday level I would imagine everyone would approve of racial profiling. If you don't approve of it, tell me what you think after you're randomly searched in a subway or airline terminal. You'll probably say to the handsy, uniformed official, "Why did you pick me? I'm a white guy. I don't fit the profile." It won't take you long to be an advocate for racial profiling once a couple thugs with badges and cold fingers violate your personal space.

If you're not guilty or you don't look like you did anything wrong you should have nothing to worry about. The Brazilian who got whacked in London should have known better than to flee but shame on the police for what they did. It's an unfortunate situation.

Profiling happens so get over it and get on with life. It doesn't mean that ever two-year-old writes on walls with crayons, every teenager plays immature pranks, every guy who drives a red sports car loves to speed, or every blonde is an airhead. But, if you have some crayon on your wall or a bus blows up you know who to talk to.

Another Awkward Situation

Our church has a Celebrate Recovery ministry which helps people with their "hurts, habits, and hang-ups." They deal with all kinds of addictions like over-eating, alcohol and drug use, and sexual addiction. I've heard nothing but good things about it and I'm glad people are getting the help they need with whatever burdens them.

I've been recruited on a few occasions to be a guest musician during their worship. I was really excited about it at first because I want to see this ministry succeed. A couple hours before I attended the first time I started to get really nervous and uncomfortable. I started to put myself in the shoes of those who regularly participate in CR and I figured if I were them, I wouldn't want outsiders to come in. I'd feel like I'm there to deal with some deep emotional and spiritual issues and I don't want people walking in and out, coming and going like a convenience store with me on display advertising that I've got serious issues in my life. I certainly wouldn't want to feel like that and I wouldn't want to put them in that position. After all, one of the secular equivalents to this program is Alcoholics Anonymous. I'm sure these people want as much anonymity as possible. I understand the church is very protective of what goes on at the church building during that time to ensure this.

I expressed my concern with the ministry leader who is the friend that recruited me. He said it was going to be fine and they were used to people coming and going. I was still nervous. Who was I going to see? Would I recognize anyone? How would I be received?

People started coming in. I recognized a lot of people although some were leaders and some were participants and I couldn't easily distinguish between them. Maybe many were both. It was difficult not to think, "Gee, I wonder what his problem is," but I tried not to. I tried to remember that they are seeking God's healing in their lives.

When it was time to get up to play and worship, I couldn't make eye contact with anyone. I couldn't even look at anyone because I didn't want them to think I was judging them because they were there. Just the opposite was true; I respected them for their courage to step forward and take control of their hurts, habits, and hang-ups. Still, I couldn't look at them.

I've gone back two other times: once for a picnic and tonight for another regular session. I don't feel nervous and uncomfortable like I did the first time. However, I did see a guy there who I'm pretty sure was his first time. He looked very uncomfortable. Admitting sin is a hard thing to do. Admitting sin to a group of people you hardly know is insane, but beautiful. We should see more of that in the local church, in a small group, or with our close friends.

Curious Son

I'm sitting here in front of the TV with my laptop and my son says, "Dad, are you watching TV or doing the computer?"

Me: "I'm doing both."

Son: "How can you do both? Do you have one eye up there (points at TV) and one eye on the computer?"

He's cute.

Promises, promises

If you want to gain credibility as a politician, entertainer, or some other public figure, it's probably not a good idea to make a conditional promise in which the outcome could result in a major life change or the act of self sacrifice. For example, Alec Baldwin stated that he would move to France if George W. Bush was elected president for a second term. In the news recently, columnist Helen Thomas said, "The day Dick Cheney is going to run for president, I'll kill myself."

I'm not saying Alec and Helen should follow through with these claims but if you're going to be so pompous and arrogant at least promise something reasonable and follow through with it.

Alec Baldwin: If George W. Bush is elected, I'll stuff my clothes full of marshmallows and sit in a sauna for 30 minutes.

Helen Thomas: The day Dick Cheney is going to run for president, I'll shave my head and parade around Washington dressed as a punk rocker.